Define Friendships

Friendships are weird as an adult. I’m sure we can all agree on that. We have our small groups from different walks in life. There’s those that we have had since middle or high school, or elementary school if you’re lucky. Then there are those that you created in college or at work, or even during the start of your adult life. And then there are those that do not fit in any of those categories but they have somehow joined in on your life and they have become a group of people you turn to in crisis.

As we grow up, some of those friendships seem to fizzle out. Relating to one another becomes harder as our interests develop into something more. Some people just can’t adjust to what is desired any longer and they end up being left behind in one chapter of your life.

Moving away from those friendships have made me realize just how important they are. Those that constantly get updated are the ones who I see being my closest friends. They get taken on day to day life, their personal video blog on my random days of adventures through Snapchat. I vent to them about what I miss the most, some funny stories about what I encountered, and the random thoughts I have while living in a whole other world away. Now that we no longer live in the same city, or even the same time zone, it has been an adjustment in how the friendships have continued on. On some occasions, we just send Snapchats back and forth showing life on the other side of the screen. Other times, it is a whole conversation, split into long hours of unopened due to scheduling differences. They get the inside scoop of what is happening, where I am, and any funny instances that occur during my commutes from point A to point B. They live vicariously through me.

There are also the friendships that do not get the everyday updates but rather the every-so-often message asking for time to catch up. I feel these sorts of friendships are just as special because catching up with them is like time just paused from the last call and continued on into the next. Conversations flow, taking in what eachother has done in the last month, or however long since the last time, and getting every detail from those events leading up to now. Those are very special to me as it means that they set aside time to talk to me specifically and get to know what I’ve been up to. I love how this is in the same sense as what a sit down conversation would be like, just very long distance.

Then there are the friendships that you view through social media. Maybe not so much as a friendship but an acknowledgement of what each other is doing and taking notes of all their life events or accomplishments. I have a few friends that I watch via their Facebook posts or Instagram stories to see how they are living their lives now since last speaking to them. Rooting them on through the screen when they announce their engagement, moving, or whatever major life event is next for them. It is fun to follow along and feel a small part within their story.

Lastly, there are the friendships that provide what you need in the moment of time and then disappear. We all have those friends, could be one or it could be a group of friends, that were so important to you during one span of your lifetime and then *poof* they no longer coincide with your timeline anymore. They could have been there while you were in middle school to high school, post breakup help, figuring out this whole pandemic situation together, or any spot in between where there was more than just the casual hangout existing between one another. There can be a sense of void without them walking with you in life anymore, but on some occasions, they were just there to hold your hand through one phase and let you go on your next by yourself. It is hurtful when they just end up fizzling out. They were your group that you would confide in what you were doing and the dumb things you would think about on the daily. Now, they are someone you have to leave behind in order to grow and move forward with your own life dreams.

Currently, I am trying to navigate starting over with new people entering my life and become who I can consider friends. Now at my “big girl job”, I have those who I ask for help and others who I can discuss deeper things with. For myself, I do enjoy getting to know new people and learning their interests. When I am able to relate with them on certain topics, it makes the world feel that much smaller. It is like kindergarten all over again, asking about our favorite colors, but with more responsibilities.